SATIRE: It’s Wolfpacket Bro: CHS one hit wonders


“It’s Wolfpacket, Bro”: This revolutionary line echoed in the halls of CHS. Those three words were much more than just a rip-off of Jake Paul’s “It’s Everyday, Bro”; it was a movement. A lifestyle. The lyrics single-handedly shaped the course of the future, and generations to come. Compared to old attempts of chasing clout, this video created by Lucas Grannis and Isabelle Shie surged to the top of CHS fame. In a last-minute impassioned plea from the Wolfpacket, “It’s Wolfpacket Bro” managed to seize over one thousand views on the original Instagram where it was posted.

As Grannis and Shie reaped these benefits, they decided to use their clever wits to create a newly developed, and more modernized version of their original visionary masterpiece. New visuals, new lyrics, and new members of the Wolfpacket appeared in the video to ensure the Wolfpacket kept its reputation. Yet, students do not remember this creation, and the traces of Grannis and Shie seemed to disappear altogether.

In the second music video, satirical portraits of ASB, Wolfcast, and the Wolfpacket were all painted in hopes to create a friendly rivalry. However, on May 5th, the Wolfpacket was asked to take down the new music video by esteemed principal Doctor O’Connor after ASB had sent in concerns to the office regarding the video. Octavio Hernandez, ASB Director, clarified the implications found within the video.

“The only thing I thought was that it was not inclusive of the whole school,” Hernandez said. “Even if it was a joke, I feel like people are going to take it out of context and be like ‘hey, it’s one group versus another group.’ And that’s the complete opposite of the truth, nobody wants that.”

Doctor O’Connor informed the Wolfpacket that he would discuss the issues with ASB and get back to the paper. Unfortunately, a music video made by two freshmen was at the bottom of this high school principal’s priority list, and the matter was forgotten. The Wolfpacket ultimately decided the video should not be re-uploaded. After this event, Shie and Grannis fell into a welcoming slump.
The washed-up video creators have been trying hard to keep the peace and stay hidden from the paparazzi. Even after countless waves of fans begging for the return of the iconic videos, production has come to a dull stop. The paper carefully tested the waters of the video industry. At first, the water was nice and shallow. Staying afloat was simple. But as the paper waded out further and further it lost sight of the shore. Before Wolfpacket could notice, a deep dark figure emerged from the shadows with its jaws open and its teeth bared. At least it was a quick death.

With the school year well underway, the Wolfpacket has yet to release any new content online. However, a bigger and brighter inspiration has emerged from the ashes: Dhar Mann. Grannis and Shie have decided that they do not just want to tell stories, they want to change lives– without copyright infringement from the Dhar Mann fam hopefully. Although the child stars fell off, they are ready to pick up the fragments of hope and restore the Wolfpacket to the media sensation it once was. One way or another, the videos will rise again, and until then the iconic line rings true, “It’s Wolfpacket Bro.”