*DISCLAIMER: This article is purely satirical and not rooted in any racial hatred. It’s simply pointing out a hairstyle trend amongst the East Asian community*

The hallways at Claremont High have become a sea of wavy, ramen-looking hair, bobbing around and bombarding our vision at school. Clusters of prepubescent East Asian boys are flocking to their nearest local salons and investing hundreds of dollars to get their hair wavy permed to resemble their revered K-pop idols. Gone are the days of their natural straight locks of hair. In their pursuit “to not be like other Asian guys”, curly perms have now become the latest must-have. 

The impact of this epidemic is unlike any other. Any time an Asian boy saunters by with his new shiny bouncing curls, he leaves behind a wake of admiration and longing from his peers, not just the female admirers. This effect can be attributed to the uncanny resemblance between them and K-pop idols. For some inexplicable scientific reason, people with perms have started to look more like legitimate K-pop idols. 

Recently, one of our very own Claremont High students was walking the streets of the village when a group of girls started surrounding him chanting, “Jungkook! Jungkook! Jungkook!” The student, who has requested to remain anonymous, explained, “I was very confused on why they got me confused with BTS K-pop idol Jungkook. Before my perm, I never once got confused with Jungkook. It wasn’t until I did more research that I found out Jungkook started the wavy perm trend during one of his concerts. That’s when it hit me: I look like a K-pop idol.” 

When asked if he regretted the perm at all, the idol look alike boldly shook his head no and said it has catapulted him to new heights of fame.

 “I’m so grateful I got my perm. I finally feel like a man now,” he stated before getting emotional and dabbing the corners of his eyes with some napkins. 

As the demand for perms continues to increase amongst these Asian boys, it seems they have now become the gateway or rite of passage to achieve manhood. At the end of the day, it’s important to acknowledge that these wavy perms aren’t just trends; they’re a bold statement of self-expression and authenticity.