The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

SATIRE: Who is the Alpha Wolf of the Claremont Wolfpack?

S tier Alpha Winner – Luke Mason

Fiona Wu

Luke Mason flipped his hair 16 times during the entire interview because “Me personally, I know I’m a hero,” – Mason. In his daily grind, Mason doesn’t just dance with the wolves, he embodies them, pawing through life with a ferocious determ

ination. Mason saves people in his free time racking up testimonies such as “Luke Mason saved me from a burning building in ’09,” –Jack Warren and “Luke Mason is my idol; I get so excited when I get to sit next to him,” – anonymous admirer. Einstein’s most recent incarnation, Luke enlightens all of his classes with his “actually” comments and impeccable knowledge. His sagacious presence improves the atmosphere of each and every classroom he enters, and his wry charm enchants each and every teacher. In a word, he is “perfect.” 

Yet, the title of alpha wolf, though, does not come without some drawbacks. The pressure, in particular, can be a lot to handle for him. Mason is known to write emotional, contemplative poems about the burden of holding up CHS on his shoulders. “It can be hard to be so in touch with my emotions,” the lupine senior confided to a Wolfpacket reporter. Mason champions the game of Minesweeper, while performing his daily acts of charity and heroism to his fellow pack members. 

In combination with the pressure, Mason also deals with crowds of lovestruck admirers. “I can’t just leave him alone, he’s too well-rounded and emotionally available!” gushed an anonymous member of the “Luke’s Lovebirds” fan club. Upon learning of the existence of such a club, Mason expressed rare frustration, reportedly releasing a blood-curdling howl. “I can hardly go one day without receiving a heartfelt confession of deepest admiration!” Mason said on the issue. Life goes on though, and Mason continues to perform his daily acts of charity and heroism, interspersed, of course, with plenty of growls and all-fours prowling. 

 

A tier Alpha – Abbygale Sanchez

Fiona Wu

What can I say? Sanchez was graced to the Earth by her amazing skills in making you cry. 7th in the state with her Original Prose and Poetry, Sanchez has what it takes to bawl out your eyes without needing to lift a claw. She is a true alpha and solemn wolf. With her fierceness and ability to destroy anyone in Amongus, Sanchez knows what she wants and how to get it. Sanchez and her Pookie, Amanda Lai, can be found together anytime and anywhere. Abbygale Sanchez has the powerful and independent energy that she carries everywhere. This smexy sigma is a leader and older sister that everyone deserves. Sanchez’s confidence and women’s empowerment make all of the men quack in the debate rounds she is in. When Sanchez was asked, “What is the definition of alpha wolf to you?”. Sanchez took charge, licked her lips, and said, “It’s just me.”

 

A tier Alpha – Quintin

You ate that up. And Quintin Giles-Gray certainly eats it up with his outfits and confidence everywhere he goes. Giles-Gray is the perfect embodiment of the model student; he is a cheerleader and an A.S.B. member, and he is proud of himself. He defines the Alpha Wolf as a leader who takes charge, is school-spirited, and is inclusive of everyone. Giles-Gray defies the toxic masculinity surrounding the idea of Alpha Wolf because he acknowledges the discrepancy of how it has been capitalized not to represent minority groups. “Quintin is a quintessential individual that transcends all ways of life,” said Navie Fernandez, Quintin’s close friend. Quintin Giles-Gray is not the textbook goofy goober, but he is an alpha you can always count on.

 

B tier Alpha – Benito Summer-Sandoval 

Fiona Wu

“Don’t take me seriously,” – Benito Summer Sandoval purred with a sly grin. Comparing his fashion sense to that of a hip teacher or a motorcyclist who has never touched a motorcycle, this history buff fights for his alpha position with his passion and devotion to Claremont High School. When he is not howling on the trumpet in marching, concert, and jazz bands, as he sniffs out the juices stories for satirical newspaper S.C.A.T. When asked about his thoughts on Alpha Wolf, Sandavol approached the question with hackles raised, saying that the position is “undefinable, and restricting it to a definition kills the term’s significance.” This modern-day poet has a lot to say and is passionate about it. Although he may not be the top alpha wolf, he certainly is a strong addition to this list. Sandoval has also allegedly collaborated with Ryan Gosling as a behind-the-scenes star in Barbie. Benito Sandoval might not be an alpha wolf, but he is certainly Kenough. 

B tier Alpha – Theo Krebs

Fiona Wu

“Do you want me to answer in my world news persona or just me?” Words from the famous Theo Krebs, as he takes the world by storm. You might have seen him in his World News persona, where Krebs is an all-knowing god of news around the world. Krebs is an absolutely exquisite frisbee player and carries a legend of being the best on the team; Krebs knows he is just him. He expresses his un-interest in fashion over practicality and is a G in self-control. While Krebs might not have listened to Frank Ocean’s self-control, Krebs has enough self-control to not own any conventional social media and stands aware of the negative implications social media carries. Moreover, Krebs is just a GOAT at speech and debate. He was the presiding officer in Congress and beat team captain Carson Paul, where he cemented his title as an alpha wolf. 

 

B tier Alpha – Milo Pucci 

Fiona Wu

When you tune into Spongebob, there’s a lot that sticks with you: the bubbly font, the relatability of Squidward, and the strong friendships. And just like you were howling for Spongebob, so was Milo Pucci. Pucci is an enthusiast for amusement parks, prowling through rollercoasters with the energy of a wolf on the hunt. He’s also deeply passionate about video production and filmmaking, with his work on Wolfcast showcasing his talent. Inspired by his father’s love for film, Pucci howls his creativity into the Claremont community, leaving an indelible mark. “I love him, man; he is my G, my rollercoaster brethren, and always supports me through hard times,” said Luke Roy, a loyal pack member. While Pucci might not be howling at the top of the hierarchy, he’s certainly Gucci enough to hold his own in the pack.

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About the Contributor
Fiona Wu
Fiona Wu, Reporter
Fiona Wu is a sophomore at CHS and a first-year reporter on The Wolfpacket staff. This year, Wu is balancing many items on her plate, including her position on the school's Junior Varsity Volleyball team, speech and debate, and her newly created Voter’s Turnout club. Currently in school, Wu’s favorite subject is history and she is looking forward to spending the next school year with her teachers and classmates. Outside of school, Wu has dedicated her time to setting up her Voter’s Turnout Club, attending speech and debate tournaments, and pursuing her interests in the humanities. Wu looks forward to her first year in The Wolfpacket, especially attending the late nights.
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