Welcome back to Channel 57 News, here today to talk about the devastation that has been taking place around the world. It has been only one week since the last major attacks happened–where Gorillardo Mazzuoloni managed to take down Tung Tung Tung Sahur–and people are still trying to recover. Although these Italian Kaijus have only been rampaging for about six months, to many it feels like years. Even places yet to be torn apart by their unstoppable path of destruction have felt the effects of the attacks, and heavy hearts can be seen everywhere.
Thankfully though, measures are being taken to combat these merciless creatures; our defense starts now. Brr Brr Patapim, the forest-monkey creature that recently terrorized the state of Minnesota, has recently been taken down by the United States Government. How, you may ask? The answer is clear: the new program, titled the Anti-Italian Brainrot Force, and its new weapon, Bombardiro Crocodillo. The battle was tough, but human ingenuity and dedication have managed to create tools powerful enough to defend ourselves from these otherworldly creatures. Beyond that, we have the – wait, wait, hold on a second… I’m receiving.. Okay, we have just got some breaking news. It appears that Lirili Larila is fighting with Tralalero Tralala as we speak.. We’re getting footage now. Tralalero Tralala seems to have emerged from the ocean, and Lirili Larila has come inland from Death Valley. On the coast of California, these two titans are turning San Diego into a battlefield… Residents are being told to evacuate if possible, but if escape is not an option, then hide in whatever basement you can find. We’re getting word that the US Army is on the move, and should be closing in at any moment. In fact, I think that’s them now.. It appears that the army’s new project, Bombombini Gusini is coming in hot. Bombombini Gusini has been in the works for months at this point, and this is going to be its debut. Soaring in, Bombombini Gusini is laying heavy fire on both kaijus. Stunned, it seems both of the creatures have separated, and are moving their separate ways.
Beautiful: yet another victory for the greatness of human resilience. This is just another example of how together, we can stand against these mythical creatures. These last few months have been very trying times, but we can only hope that this pattern of success continues.
Years later..
It has been quite some time since the last sighting of a wild Italian Kaiju, largely responsible for the majority being captured by the government and placed in wildlife reserves. Some, however, have been rumored to be spotted along the west coast. Although these adults are largely contained, many children of said creatures have been popping up around the country. This is quite conflicting, as new laws are being developed regarding the legality of owning said creatures as pets. This is becoming a much grander issue, as a large number of baby Tralalero Tralala have been discovered. They have been dubbed ‘Tralaleritos’, and people have been found taking these creatures in as pets. With each owner giving their own land shark different shoes, these pets are very expressive. Not all is good, however, as the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has been trying to put these creatures on the endangered species list, which would require updated regulations on the Endangered Species Act. All of this takes time, but during the process, the cute little Tralaleritos have blown up overnight. Taking over social media pages, the few who were able to grab one of these critters have come across unfounded popularity. Be careful, though, as their jaws are nothing to scoff at.
It’s clear that these creatures have irreversibly changed the world, and the scene of how the interactions are molding over time has shown again that good can come from their arrival. We can only wait to find what will happen next.
