The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

Canva Design by Fiona Wu

SATIRE: New Prom Theme: Tik Tok Rizz Party

Fiona Wu, Reporter May 3, 2024

Sweat drips from Turkish Quadale Dingle’s neck as he shakes it one last time to Lil Uzi Vert because “this IS what you want.” Claremont High School’s biggest event of the year is prom, and students...

Canva designed by Joy Cheng

SATIRE: Senior Assassins

Joy Cheng, Reporter May 3, 2024

CHS seniors are fearing for their lives, their once-dreams of winning the $1000 jackpot are now overshadowed by the looming specter of assassination and survival. Seniors regardless of their status within...

SATIRE: Who is the Alpha Wolf of the Claremont Wolfpack?

SATIRE: Who is the Alpha Wolf of the Claremont Wolfpack?

Fiona Wu, Reporter March 29, 2024

S tier Alpha Winner - Luke Mason Luke Mason flipped his hair 16 times during the entire interview because "Me personally, I know I'm a hero,” – Mason. In his daily grind, Mason doesn't just...

Students unable to participate in class due to mewing streak

Students unable to participate in class due to mewing streak

Anais Talbott Meza, Reporter March 4, 2024

Around Claremont High School, something seems afoot. Teachers are crying in agony, unable to teach their students the life-saving information of integral functions and how to analyze the masterpiece that...

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SATIRE: A Short Series of Events

Johnathan Lee, Reporter March 4, 2024

With St. Patrick’s day on the horizon, many kids are scheming to catch themselves leprechaun. Well known for their mischievous character and their obsession with gold, Folklore says that if you catch...

Courtesy of Canva as designed by Johnathan Lee

SATIRE: New “Snobby Shores” added in Fortnite

Johnathan Lee, Reporter February 9, 2024

In the midst of the Jeffrey Epstein list being released and with a multitude of memes produced because of this, Fortnite has decided to capitalize on this golden opportunity of free clout. To further intrigue...

photo courtesy of google

SATIRE: Cancelable Christmas

Pablo Guevara, Reporter December 21, 2023

Ah, Christmas. There’s nothing quite like sitting around the tree with friends and family, caroling around the neighborhood, and waiting for Santa Claus himself to arrive to all the good girls and boys…...

SATIRE: Android Kids are Getting Expelled From CHS: Are Ipad Kids Next?

William Maxwell Abbott, Reporter November 17, 2023

Students of CHS over the past decade have been continuing to ask themselves the same age old question. When the hell are android kids going to be exiled by the rest of society? This question was answered...

SATIRE: The world of teacher cliques

Dorlhe Davila Mendoza, Reporter November 17, 2023

In the large ecosystem that is our school, there exists a subtle yet strange phenomenon: teacher cliques. Like high school students, our educators have found their kindred spirits, forging alliances based...

SATIRE: Potty Training Classes at Claremont High

Kate Song, Reporter November 17, 2023

Soaked toilet paper strewn all around the bathroom floors. Unflushed feces lazily floating in the toilet bowl. Drops of neon yellow pee sprinkled oh-so generously over the toilet seat rim and tiled ground....

Carson Paul

A Desire For Satire

Julia Little, Reporter November 17, 2023

During the April Fools issue of 2022 for The Wolfpacket, reporter turned editor Carson Paul realized his true calling: a desire for satire. This was a monumental moment for Paul, a young lost sophomore....

SATIRE: Dr. Mitchell Rules With Iron Fist

SATIRE: Dr. Mitchell Rules With Iron Fist

Pablo Guevara, Reporter October 13, 2023

We all know that last year’s resignation of power was not pretty; as all non-freshman clearly remember, a coup was staged among the CHS administration to oust Brett O’Connor from his post as principal....

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