Around Claremont High School, something seems afoot. Teachers are crying in agony, unable to teach their students the life-saving information of integral functions and how to analyze the masterpiece that is Romeo and Juliet. It seems that every time the studious CHS scholars are asked a question, all they can do is show off their jawline, mogging everyone in the classroom while simultaneously rizzing up a few.
It seems the 800s quad has become the most infected by this epidemic. Sophomore Grace Ayala, studying Spanish 2 with Mr Burke, gave us a comment after being bribed with a month’s supply of thin mints. When asked about her concerns surrounding increasing mog battles, she stated, “Everyone is just kind of unhinged nowadays, like even Mr. Burke is engaging in the battles–and winning actually.” She even recounts one experience in which a stampede of students huddled together after two of their peers challenged one another to a mog battle at the in-n-out tables near the theater. “It was so crazy, there were like 200 and something students there. I don’t know who exactly was fighting but even the proctors joined in to watch. It was kind of compelling?”
However, these situations are not specific to instances outside of the 800 quad classrooms, and are slowly growing into different buildings around the school. The air in the educational 4×4 cubes becomes tense as the teacher stares at their students in anger. The tension and silence were so riveting that neighboring classrooms were compelled to sit and watch through windows as the mog battles occurred, soon adopting the champions as their new idols. Entire school weeks and days are getting wasted and those unaffected by the madness are slowly becoming mentally deranged.
The situation has become so dire that some students, unable to break their hundred-day-long mewing streaks, have been sentenced to detention after a warning.
However, this discipline was to no avail when the detention classrooms faced a 104% increase in mogging battles occurring just in one week. CHS Students are unable to even give the administrators their names, only writing “mewing streak, sorry,” on yellow post-it notes, using the paper as a bridge for communication. While silence may be beneficial in a class focused on disciplining students, if they cannot answer questions and participate in class discussions, it only boils down to disrespect. And the staff who have not yet been lured to the world of looksmaxxing–the act of trying to improve one’s visual appeal–are not having it.
Mr. Barcelona’s classroom is one of the many that has been engulfed with the essence of looksmaxing. Mogging battles have become uncontrollable and he also admits that the mewing epidemic is starting to get to him. Towards the beginning of the mog pandemic, he stated that he has tried everything in his power to get the students to speak. When his efforts proved to be useless, he figured that if he couldn’t beat them, he might as well join them instead. When asked about his opinion on said issue, he claimed that he was on day 23 of his mewing streak, leaving us with no comment.
Many, myself included, question whether looksmaxing is just a phase or a lifestyle. Should the epidemic continue, the education system and the way society operates may be forced to forever change. No longer are the days of using words to communicate and share our thoughts, instead, we might have to begin to use the–genuinely frightening– pen and paper.
