With St. Patrick’s day on the horizon, many kids are scheming to catch themselves leprechaun. Well known for their mischievous character and their obsession with gold, Folklore says that if you catch a leprechaun, you can unveil the location of his pot of gold. This is tricky as leprechauns seem to find a way to squirm and squeeze out of every trap set for them scheming to get your gold all the while. Recently, CHS faculty and staff have received bountiful reports from students of one such creature roaming across the halls. 

Some sightings report a diminutive bearded man walking on his tippy toes with his hands behind his back sniffing for gold. Others claim a thing of Irish myth clothed solely in green gave the students a deranged look as if they were the ones out of the ordinary. A third report mentioned seeing the pottery room in the 500s being hit with a blizzard of green glitter. 

As rumors circulate, a question has arisen: why was leprechaun activity only centered in the 500s quad? As March draws nearer, the spirit of St. Patrick moved someone to draw a life-imitating pot of gold carved into a stall door in the girls’ restroom. A little known fact about leprechauns is they possess senses akin to spiderman and can detect anything to do with a verified pot of gold even from thousands of miles away in Ireland. According to students around the time of the scene, the leprechaun went up to the drawing, and upon seeing that the pot of gold was just a mere replica, the leprechaun threw a fit with his tiny hands and tiny feet. 

Having recovered from the tantrum, the leprechaun stalked out of the bathroom with money still on his mind when he laid eyes on the prey: an abandoned Prada backpack sunbathing on the grass. A naughty grin took the place of the prominent scowl on the leprechaun’s face as he stalked forward. As the leprechaun opened the bag, he was met with a pleasant surprise: a glitter bomb. What a way to teach a leprechaun the dangers of greed. The devious little leprechaun, now looking like a highlighter, ran from the scene.

Now this story would have been great if it were actually true. I mean come on. You really thought leprechauns are real? Local CTV footage revealed that the leprechaun was merely a ginger dressed in green. There is a reason why every little kid dreams of catching a leprechaun is never realized because the bottom line is we all know leprechauns are fake.