This past April, pop music fans at Coachella had a blast. Some screamed out Sabrina Carpenter lyrics, others danced their hearts out to Katseye; however, almost everyone gasped in shock when a strange man emerged from the venue where Justin Bieber was set to perform. The man, dressed up in tattoo sleeves and what appeared to be a fake mustache, stepped onto the stage and began to sing “You know you love me, I know you care, just shout whenever, and I’ll be there…” Fans immediately knew that this had to be an imposter. This man was not Justin Bieber; he had to be Bustin Jieber, or some other knockoff. Aside from his strange outfit, fans immediately noticed that his background was a mere screenplay of his songs on YouTube, nothing extravagant. By this time, they knew he was a poser. How could Justin Bieber, a singer with a net worth of hundreds of millions of dollars, have something so unadorned?
However, what threw fans off the most was the voice. The person singing “Baby” was not a baby at all. Instead, they were a grown man with a voice two octaves too deep for the song. Shocked, fans talked amongst themselves, wondering who this could be. Known for his relatively high-pitched singing, this man could certainly not be Justin Bieber…or could he?
The man on stage sensed the uneasiness in the crowd and decided that he had to reveal his identity. He began to sing “Beauty and a Beat,” at first in his deep voice, and then slowly going up an octave…and then another. At about this time, the crowd knew what had happened. Against all odds, and at the young age of 32, their beloved popstar had finally hit puberty.
Tears of yearning for the old Justin streamed down fans’ faces. It seemed as if it were yesterday that Bieber performed on the set of Saturday Night Live, without a single hair on his face or a crack in his voice. But now, fans could hear the strain in his singing that had not been present at any of his pre-pubescent concerts. These tears turned into sobs when the audience realized that the facial hair was not fake, and the tattoo sleeves were indeed permanent. When contacted for comment, Bieber’s agents denied any progression in the singer’s physical growth. “Mustache? What is that? The only hair on his face is his luscious, young eyelashes. And tattoos? That’s just him playing with markers!”
Justin Bieber’s puberty, unfortunately, marked the end of an era. However, like for anybody, it proved to be a transformative experience. His mustache grew, but so did his love for his fans at Coachella. His voice dropped, much like his audience’s satisfaction with the performance, but he tried his best. And most importantly, he proved that we should “Never Say Never,” because maturity always inevitably comes, even if one is a 32-year-old boy.
