Taylor Swift – Having Taylor Swift as your top artist is not revolutionary, but hey, she is a good artist. You definitely cried listening to Midnights while reminiscing over a guy you never even dated. People love to call you basic but your monthly expenses consist of flannels and pumpkin spice lattes, not being accusatory but….also, have you gotten those concert tickets yet?

Kendrick Lamar – After 5 years, your lord and savior, Kendrick Lamar finally dropped. After “To Pimp A Butterfly” you proclaimed that your life had changed, although posting infographics seems to be the extent of your activism. Nobody will ever hear the end of your interpretation of Lamar’s latest album, and you have probably lost a couple of friends from the number of times you brought them up. You take every second possible to educate your friends on the most random of topics, but is it really warranted?

The Smiths – Honestly, this is a bit scary. How does this band even crack your top 5? There are a couple of good Smiths songs but at some point, they all become the same, depressive, manipulative, and banal anthem. You really could not let go of that last relationship, could you?

Frank Ocean – Well, one thing is for sure, you are definitely struggling with getting over them, aren’t you? If ‘Self Control’ gets into your top 5 songs…how’s therapy? You spent the majority of your year reflecting on the past and the fact you are too broke to afford Frank Ocean’s jewelry brand. Seriously though, it gets better. By the way, how was that last talking stage?

Mitski – This past year must’ve been pretty rough huh? How is your relationship with your mother? Sorry for that loaded question but…Mitski…I mean that is tough. That is not your only rough relationship so maybe it’s time to stop crying over that situationship too.

Arctic Monkeys/Tame Impala – Seriously, get over 2015 already. It was a great year but this band’s music is like a personification of that time. Tumblr ran your world this past year, didn’t it? That black-and-white striped shirt and checkered vans combo needs to go.

Drake – You are not a “Certified Lover Boy,” trust me. You ask girls “where my hug at?” and you are the most obnoxious person of all time. You are not a player, you did not even make eye contact with that girl you have a crush on. Please, for the love of god, stop trying to be like Drake, you are not smooth.

Playboi Carti – You deserve a medal for defending “Whole Lotta Red” when it was first released. You never shut up about it though. The Playboi Carti fandom is one of the strongest out there but is also the most annoying. Your outfits are not fire, you have worn the same all-black fit for weeks now, and it is time for a change. You are not a “vamp”, you need to get to your history class.

Lil Uzi Vert – How can you go wrong with Lil Uzi Vert? A respectable choice but you are not a rockstar. Your dance moves can always be trusted though, as you have definitely watched tutorials on how to dance like Lil Uzi Vert. You have probably spent thousands of dollars on shoes. Also you’re likely a short king and I support you.

Lana Del Ray – Pinterest is a staple in your life. You have based your whole personality on Vans, Doc Martens, and really expensive lip gloss. That coquette aesthetic does not last forever though.

MCR/Paramore – A self-proclaimed “rockstar”, it seems like you have not gotten the memo that the time has passed for the crazy amount of piercings and dyed hair. You are proving your emo phase was not just a phase all along. Even if you are not rocking that emo look, you definitely wish you were in the golden ages of emo-rock so it would be more acceptable to yell at your mom and slam your bedroom door.

Nirvana/Sublime/Mac Demarco – You picked up playing the guitar recently and have not stopped talking about how you can play a couple of Nirvana songs. At every party, you bring up the fact you could bust out a song right now but, please do not. And maybe quell that itch you have to start a band with your friends…

Clairo – You are a bedroom-pop connoisseur. You waste no time breaking out your Doc Martens with huge platforms just so you can be at eye level with everyone else. How are you that happy all the time? Your supply of rings and necklaces is endless along with your knowledge of indie music.

Harry Styles – Harry is like a Walmart version of Elton John. His singing is fantastic but his outfits…making a statement through clothing is great but at least have a sense of fashion. At some point all of Harry’s music sounds like generic pop and if that is your jam that is awesome but have you really not grown out of your One Direction phase yet?

Bad Bunny – Like 99% of the world, you are a Bad Bunny fan. To be his top artist takes some serious dedication and time, impressive really. You desperately want to go to every concert just so you can breathe the same air as Bad Bunny.

Steve Lacy/SZA – You have a lot of red flags but people are willing to look past them just cause this is your top artist. You definitely know this so you brag about your music taste at all times just to get someone to talk to you. Steve Lacy and SZA are the king and queen of R&B, so you think listening to them makes you better than everyone else.

Any K-pop artist – Your pockets are dry after you attended one show, but it was all worth it. You got to see the artist that half the world has a somewhat creepy obsession with. Chances are you do too. You have probably done research on this artist, down to their favorite food, horoscope, and what their favorite color is.

Doja Cat – There are a lot of good things to say about Doja Cat’s music, but Tiktok has overplayed her music to no end, making her a basic pop artist. If she is your top artist you definitely are a fan of the more popular things in life, and there is no shame in that but let us just say you never stuck out of the crowd.