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The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

[SATIRE] The missing assignment that went missing

Julia Little, Reporter January 10, 2025

She could not find it. It just kinda disappeared from thin air. Her homework was GONE! But where did it go? Where did it run off to? The answer her History teacher yearns for, but there is no clear answer.  Monday,...

Meme wars

Meme wars

Lincoln Roston, Reporter January 10, 2025

In the beginning, there was nothing. No hums of crickets were heard, no songs of birds were sung. After thousands of years of darkness, life sprung into existence in a sudden burst of light. Two factions...

A meal fit for a king.

SATIRE: Hannibal Lecter for the FDA

Annabelle Brusky, Reporter January 10, 2025

“Well, Mr. President, have the libs stopped screaming?” On December 20, 2024, just a month shy from inauguration, President-elect Donald Trump announced another controversial choice for his cabinet....

SATIRE: Mariah Scary

Brooklyn Roston, Reporter November 22, 2024

It was a dark and snowy night in suburbia, the calendar freshly marked November 1st. The wind blew away the ghouls and filled the air with gingerbread and snow. Through the frosty window an iced over graveyard...

SATIRE: Bowlero Rule rolls into play

Tavish N Brodie, Reporter November 22, 2024

Sports are some of the most universally recognized activities that just about every person in their life has participated in at least once. Famous for their diversity, the wide variety of sports in the...

SATIRE–The reign of the AI Cats

Madyson Raudez, Reporter November 22, 2024

In a twist no one saw coming, Claremont High School is being driven into chaos by a gang of buff AI cats. These once-innocent digital felines have bulked up, broken free from their virtual cages, and are...

SATIRE: 5000 Days and counting: A Journey Through the GTA 6 Wait

Makayla Aguilera, Reporter November 1, 2024

December 25th, Journal Entry - Today was a day like no other, the snow fell beautifully onto the festive decorations and cookies were just about done in the oven. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about...

SATIRE: The Allegations are True

SATIRE: The Allegations are True

Sophie Deng, Reporter November 1, 2024

“THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!! THEY’RE EATING THE CATS!!! THEY’RE EATING THE PETS!!!” These are the allegations made by Donald Trump during the presidential debate where he accused Haitian immigrants...

SATIRE: HOCO? More Like BOZO

Julia Little, Reporter November 1, 2024

You are sitting down at the Homecoming game, feeling lonely, lost, and alone – piled with thoughts of despair and sadness. It is like you have fallen into a black hole and can’t seem to climb out.You...

SATIRE: The Lofi Girl Stops Studying, and So Does Society: A Global Crisis Unfolds

Makayla Aguilera, Reporter September 27, 2024

The stream has been going on for years, each and every day The Lofi Girl is streaming. Despite the countless hours, the numerous subjects studied, the material memorized, enough is enough. Since 2017,...

SATIRE: The Abused Phones Of CHS

Julia Little, Reporter September 27, 2024

It’s early in the morning when you walk into class. The bell rings. Your teacher starts droning on and you do not know what they are on about, nor do you care.  Out of the corner of your eye, you see...

SATIRE: Julia’s advice, continued two years later

Julia Little, Reporter May 3, 2024

Hi my name is Julia. Two years ago I wrote an advice column for the Wolfpacket. Since it was so good I thought you guys might need some more advice from my beautiful self. Your Welcome. Enjoy your reading. Q:...

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