SATIRE: It’s Wolfpacket, Bro!


“I’m in the lane where I can make music but also have it be funny and still good at the same time”- Jake Paul

The Wolfpacket is also in this lane. Please enjoy. It’s Wolfpacket, Bro!

It’s Wolfpacket bro, with the Mr. Glavin glow
Playboi Carti in the bathroom, never done before
Passed all the competition man, Wolfcast is wrecked
Man I’m scaring all these teachers, got a brand new paper next
And I met the Courier too and I’m coming with the crew
This is journalism, b—-, who the hell is reading you?
And you know no press for you if you ain’t with the crew
Yeah, I’m talking about you, the pack beggin’ for an interview
Talking s— in ASB too, but you still hit our site last night
It was 4:52, and we got the stats to prove
And all the articles too, because we expose the truth
And I just dropped an issue and it’s spreading like Wordle–words
C-mont’s where I’m from, we chew ’em like it’s gum
We expose them for the fun, Doc Oc’s got none
I Chris Coles and run, catch my bars on page 1
We cannot be outdone, the Packet’s where we’re from
It’s Wolfpacket bro
It’s Wolfpacket bro
It’s Wolfpacket bro
I said it is Wolfpacket bro!
Advisor Glavin Response:
Silly little Wolfpacket just ignored me (what?!)
Little paper printing with its own ink (not for long)
I advise, you obey, stay where you belong
Only I read your garbage, the writing isn’t strong
Should be issues every other year, just some free advice
I made you famous once, it’s about to happen twice
Yeah you print front page but who took you to the Courier? (that’s me)
Don’t forget, if not for me your pages would be blurrier
Now you learned AP style and you think you’re really swaggy
I’ll admit you’ve got canva, you got docs, you got jokes
But you’re still broke
You ain’t thankful for your adviser, it’s kind of funny
Do your investors know Wolfpacket ain’t making any money?