Homecoming is a night of fun. At least, it is supposed to be. You will often catch people being trampled in the mosh pit, singing off tune to Bruno Mars, walking around aimlessly, or worst of all, exhibiting PDA shamelessly in front of the whole school. But why do any of that when you can use Hoco as a night to establish your own persona? Who wants to sing, dance, and actually try to have fun when you can be standing in a corner, on your phone, being mysterious in the dark? Amidst all the chaos that occurs during homecoming, you will often find one person standing in a corner being nonchalant. It is as easy to be them as it is to admire them. Here’s how:
#1 If you have one, ignore your date. If you have friends, ignore them too.
If you bring a date to Hoco, you have already done enough work. Taking the time to formulate the sentence “Will you go to hoco with me?” or saying “yes” when getting the proposal already takes enough brain cells. Why spend more brain cells actually talking with your date when you can easily just text them “oh mb gng” at 12 am after ignoring them for the entirety of the dance? Next, ignore your friends. You see them every day at school, so there is really no reason to spend even more time with them. Making memories and having fun is so overrated.
#2 Find a mysterious place to sit or stand in the school.
After getting rid of your friends and date (if applicable), you are almost halfway there. Claremont High School has many unique locations, but finding a dark, mysterious one is crucial in order to establish your own nonchalant persona. However, it is equally important to stay within the boundaries of the dance. Getting in trouble for wandering around campus would draw attention to yourself instead of making you nonchalant—the opposite of what you want. To help us find the perfect mysterious location, we turn to one of Claremont High School’s most nonchalant sophomores: Aramis Chien. “Pick a corner, any corner, where people can see you, but nobody goes,” Chien said. “By Mrs. Baca’s class, just lie against the wall.”
#3 Scroll on your phone.
After you are done finding a dark, mysterious spot within the parameters of the dance, you want to take out your phone. This will not help with the phone addiction allegations, but it will help build your nonchalant persona. While on your phone, you might want to scroll on TikTok, Instagram reels, or YouTube shorts. If you do not have any social media, just act like you do by scrolling through your camera roll, checking the weather, or making sure to leave all of your friends’ “WHERE ARE YOU??!!” texts on read. If your friends do not care about you enough to ask where you are, just pretend to leave them on read, no judgment.
#4 Watch the compliments roll in.
After all of this hard work, you should be proud. You have finally unlocked the nonchalant version of yourself. Although it might take a while at first, you will notice people starting to appreciate your mysterious persona. You will likely hear people murmur about how mysterious you are, get a couple of side-eyes, and, for the best compliment of all time, get a message from your date saying “WE’RE OVER!!! </3.” Thank me later.
