An unsettling crisis is sweeping through Claremont High School, as students enrolled in zero period classes are reportedly transforming into full-blown zombies. The cause seems to be extreme and consistent sleep deprivation. What began as a few unusually quiet students with dark circles under their eyes has escalated into an full blown outbreak of slow-moving, lifeless individuals roaming the halls before the first bell.
The first official incident occurred early last week in a zero period biology class. A student stood up mid lecture, stared blankly at the ceiling, then let out a groan before collapsing onto the floor. Since then, similar cases have been reported across campus, all tracing back to students enrolled in zero period.
Staff initially believed it to be stress related fatigue, but as more students began to exhibit symptoms of blank stares, hunched posture, and a loss of basic motor skills, it became clear something more serious was occurring.
The condition also appears to be contagious. Students who do not even have zero period but sit next to those who do, are beginning to display early-stage symptoms such as walking with their hands out in front of them and muttering to themselves.
Experts warn that once a student reaches full zombification, recovery becomes unlikely until at least the third period, or longer if they have had back-to-back tests. In terms of safety, the administration is urging students to remain calm. If you see a classmate wandering, arms half-raised—do not approach. Instead, slowly back away and pretend you cannot see them. Direct zombified students towards the nurse’s office, maybe an ice pack will cure them.
Students enrolled in zero period physical education are experiencing extreme zombification due to the extensive labor during such an early time of day. CHS freshman Hailey Pruszynski is one of the few remaining survivors.
“It is truly terrifying seeing my classmates fully turn into zombies,” Pruszynski said. “Every day I see another one fallen victim to zombification. Their eyes are lifeless and dead, we need to take immediate action to stop the disease from spreading.”
The district is currently discussing the possibility of moving the zero period to a later time or replacing it entirely with an optional rest hour. In the meantime, students are encouraged to prioritize sleep, avoid direct contact with the infected, and remain in well-lit areas until after the first period. Traveling in groups is advised. Do not split up, or they will get you. There is no current cure, but temporary relief can be found through power naps and extended blinking.
CHS remains operational—for now—but the line between the sleep-deprived and the undead grows thinner by the day. If you feel yourself slipping away, seek help immediately. The sooner you act, the better your chances of survival. Good luck out there.
