Sports are some of the most universally recognized activities that just about every person in their life has participated in at least once. Famous for their diversity, the wide variety of sports in the world provides every person with a unique path they can take if they were to dive into athletics. That same diversity, however, is where sports suffer their fatal flaw: a lack of uniformity. To combat the large discrepancies between different sports, World Sports officials have come together and passed a new rule, effective immediately:

– Rule Code UB-BBM-001 – 

• This rule establishes a standardized guideline across all sports, enforcing the mandatory substitution of traditional game balls with regulation-size bowling balls to ensure uniform gameplay experience and consistency across all athletic disciplines.

1. 1. This rule applies to all professional, collegiate, recreational, and youth leagues, as well as international, national, and local competitions.
   2. Bowling Ball: A spherical object typically weighing between 6 and 16 pounds, manufactured according to official bowling standards, with a diameter of approximately 8.5 inches.

• If any sport included on the required list does not include a ball within typical play, a bowling ball must be included in some way, shape, or form. Method of ball inclusion must be approved by World Sports officials, and are to be included in a separate document.

Rule UB-BBM-001, commonly known as the Bowlero rule, has faithfully been working to force sports to adhere to a much more easily accessible standard, and thus far, results have proven the rule quite effective. 

In basketball, many may think the sport is unplayable; however, this is entirely incorrect. Players have recently adopted a new strategy of focusing entirely on passing, foregoing their ability to dribble the ball in favor of lobbing it to teammates closer to the basket. Interestingly enough, the Los Angeles Lakers player Lebron “the GOAT” “sunshine” James has amazingly continued to play unaffected by the recent change. Dribbling his way across the court, James is generally unopposed in his offensive and defensive power, as his points per game have tripled since the rule was implemented. Officials are turning to consider patching his skill, and a few changes have been proposed to prevent James from continuing to be the powerhouse he has become. These rules have not gotten off the ground.

Another sport that has also seen many effects from the Bowlero rule has been baseball, where fan interaction has changed greatly since its implementation. As of now, three people have been seriously injured from home runs taking place in the recent match at Dodgers stadium.

“I might’ve lost my arm, but it was worth it,” an anonymous Dodgers fan said. 

The fan gave his testimony after catching one of the rogue home run bowling balls from the recent match. Both other fans have remained unable to speak from their injuries. As a side effect of the Bowlero rule, bat sales have been climbing incredibly quickly, as a new one is required after almost every pitch. 

The recent implementation of UB-BBM-001 has not been beneficial for all sports, however, as a few have experienced some setbacks. Professional swimming has seen the unfortunate deaths of a few rookie swimmers with their implementation of the rule. As swimming does not have a ball traditionally used in their sport, the swimming division of World Sports had decided to require each swimmer to attach a certain amount of bowling balls to their waist as they swim, with a ball on each hand and foot. This was the second option, as a proposal for bowling balls to be thrown into the pool mid competition was shot down for “an unnecessary amount of danger” within the sport. The passing of these rookies shall be mourned for years to come, and they were the first to be placed in a new subdivision of the Swimming Hall of Fame dedicated to those who have died in action. 

Although swimmers had accepted their fate, several other sports have protested against the Bowlero rule. Professional volleyball players recently held a walkout at the Olympic games, complaining about the amount of broken forearms that has increased with the recent implementation. This walkout, however, was met with a barrage of bowling balls from the crowd, as most did not care about the health of the athletes. Further protests had shut down out of fear of the same results.

World Sports officials thought that UB-BBM-001 had unjustly affected other sports while leaving the main inspiration, bowling, far too unchanged. However, only after large community pushback, officials eventually decided to amend the rule to include effects for bowling. These changes were to replace not only the traditional ten pins with bowling balls but also included the requirement of updating every post-throw animatic detailing the amount of pins knocked down that is displayed at most traditional bowling alleys to include extra balls instead of pins. With these changes, community polls taken exclusively in O’ahu, Hawaii have proven that bowling has quickly climbed the ranks to become the most appreciated sport of all time. 

This rule has helped prove to the masses what secretly, every person knows. Deep down, bowling has always been the best sport, and it will continue to remain that way.