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The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

The student news site of Claremont High School

The Wolfpacket

[SATIRE] The missing assignment that went missing

Julia Little, Reporter January 10, 2025

She could not find it. It just kinda disappeared from thin air. Her homework was GONE! But where did it go? Where did it run off to? The answer her History teacher yearns for, but there is no clear answer.  Monday,...

A meal fit for a king.

SATIRE: Hannibal Lecter for the FDA

Annabelle Brusky, Reporter January 10, 2025

“Well, Mr. President, have the libs stopped screaming?” On December 20, 2024, just a month shy from inauguration, President-elect Donald Trump announced another controversial choice for his cabinet....

It’s not me… it’s you. Fix your relationships.

It’s not me… it’s you. Fix your relationships.

Nina Wu and Caroline Warren January 10, 2025

From dieting to exercising, to finally beating procrastination – there is a wide array of New Year’s resolutions. But one of the most important ones people have been consistently underperforming...

SATIRE: Mariah Scary

Brooklyn Roston, Reporter November 22, 2024

It was a dark and snowy night in suburbia, the calendar freshly marked November 1st. The wind blew away the ghouls and filled the air with gingerbread and snow. Through the frosty window an iced over graveyard...

SATIRE: Bowlero Rule rolls into play

Tavish N Brodie, Reporter November 22, 2024

Sports are some of the most universally recognized activities that just about every person in their life has participated in at least once. Famous for their diversity, the wide variety of sports in the...

SATIRE: 5000 Days and counting: A Journey Through the GTA 6 Wait

Makayla Aguilera, Reporter November 1, 2024

December 25th, Journal Entry - Today was a day like no other, the snow fell beautifully onto the festive decorations and cookies were just about done in the oven. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about...

SATIRE: The Lofi Girl Stops Studying, and So Does Society: A Global Crisis Unfolds

Makayla Aguilera, Reporter September 27, 2024

The stream has been going on for years, each and every day The Lofi Girl is streaming. Despite the countless hours, the numerous subjects studied, the material memorized, enough is enough. Since 2017,...

SATIRE: The Abused Phones Of CHS

Julia Little, Reporter September 27, 2024

It’s early in the morning when you walk into class. The bell rings. Your teacher starts droning on and you do not know what they are on about, nor do you care.  Out of the corner of your eye, you see...

Canva Design by Fiona Wu

SATIRE: New Prom Theme: Tik Tok Rizz Party

Fiona Wu, Reporter May 3, 2024

Sweat drips from Turkish Quadale Dingle’s neck as he shakes it one last time to Lil Uzi Vert because “this IS what you want.” Claremont High School’s biggest event of the year is prom, and students...

Canva designed by Joy Cheng

SATIRE: Senior Assassins

Joy Cheng, Reporter May 3, 2024

CHS seniors are fearing for their lives, their once-dreams of winning the $1000 jackpot are now overshadowed by the looming specter of assassination and survival. Seniors regardless of their status within...

SATIRE: Who is the Alpha Wolf of the Claremont Wolfpack?

SATIRE: Who is the Alpha Wolf of the Claremont Wolfpack?

Fiona Wu, Reporter March 29, 2024

S tier Alpha Winner - Luke Mason Luke Mason flipped his hair 16 times during the entire interview because "Me personally, I know I'm a hero,” – Mason. In his daily grind, Mason doesn't just...

Students unable to participate in class due to mewing streak

Students unable to participate in class due to mewing streak

Anais Talbott Meza, Reporter March 4, 2024

Around Claremont High School, something seems afoot. Teachers are crying in agony, unable to teach their students the life-saving information of integral functions and how to analyze the masterpiece that...

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