Fifteen seconds!…….5…4…3…2…1..You’re late!
If you’ve heard Mr. Webner’s countdown for the late bell at least once during your time at CHS, you have just experienced your first of many canon events. So, what does this mean? Well, for starters, you have been “formally” inducted as a CHS student and now have a conversation topic with any upperclassman, but this is just one of many, many perks. The benefits of experiencing these canon events also include getting a near-hospitalization when the proctors almost run you over speeding through the hallways on their golf carts, and if you are a sports fanatic, feeling devastated when we lose (yet another) Homecoming football game.
If you have never seen a proctor on a golf cart in your life, watched or attended any CHS sports games, or have not had the pleasure of being in the 700s quad to hear Webner’s infamous countdown before class, do not fear. There are plenty of other CHS canon events to experience. My personal favorite is standing in the lunch line by the Dr. O’Connor building—typically on pizza day but any day can apply—anticipating your Round Table pizza slice only to enter and find out, after getting your beverage and fruit, that there is no more pizza. As you experience the devastation of hearing those words, the lunch ladies try to cheer you up by offering you a substitution you should definitely not pass up: a salad.
If, perhaps, you are someone who has never waited in the lunch line, here are some canon events in the classroom and on campus in general: your phone going off during class, getting your gold stolen during Blooket in crypto mode, losing your Duolingo streak, hearing the smartest kids in the class say “I did so bad” on the last test, and (for seniors) seeing someone park in your senior parking spot.
For students in the Wolfpacket, the most painful and appalling canon event is watching students immediately chucking our newspapers into the trash can every distribution day. At this point, it is an accepted reality and a rite of passage for everyone in Wolfpacket, witnessing their hard work literally go down the trash.
If you have experienced at least one of these canon events during your time at CHS, congratulations, you have tasted the blessings of being a CHS student. You now have the right to proclaim, with utmost pride and dignity, that you are a true member of the Claremont High School Wolfpack.
