February: the month of love. Or alternatively, the month in which many wish they had a valentine, or any love at all. Scratch that, who needs love when you can have a boyfriend? Apparently, they are not always a package deal, and boyfriends come with love sold separately. The #ihatemyboyfriend trend has been raging throughout TikTok and Instagram for the past few months, with over 5,000 posts under the single hashtag. The trend is that people, women specifically, are getting into relationships with people they cannot stand just to say that they have a boyfriend. Formatted along the lines of “When I think fine shawty texted but it is just my dumb, ugly, loser boyfriend” pasted over an annoyed reaction image, it goes hand in hand with the female manipulator trope. And while it is funny, it is potentially troublesome, especially for Cupid.
Everyone needs a valentine, even if they are annoying because clearly it is embarrassing if you are all alone on Valentine’s Day. This month, #ihatemyboyfriend has made a comeback. The trend is publicizing how people enter emotionally absent relationships for transactional purposes. The behavior is becoming normalized, and Valentine’s Day is just another reason to follow the crowd. Social pressure combined with personal desires to be in a relationship leads people chasing labels rather than real feelings. Although this is humorous, the lasting effects are woeful.
It may seem harmless, and most would agree that if both parties can agree on a purely transactional relationship, then no one gets hurt. However, it is more likely to involve the exploitation of one party. Romantic feelings are taken advantage of, and the perpetrator usually uses their significant other in exchange for labels (such as a valentine) and bragging rights. This is emotionally distressing for any individual who has genuine feelings. When these emotions are abused, sadness and trust issues fester, and they remain even long after the relationship ends.
“My ex-girlfriend cheated on me because she thought I was annoying, she said that she only dated me for the plot, and now I am traumatized” said an anonymous student from Claremont High School.
A Valentine is not worth harming another person over, and there is always next year. #Ihatemyboyfriend might be an internet favorite, but it is time to “break up” with the trend. So, if you hate your partner it is probably time to put the “end” in “boyfriend”!
