Exercise every day. Go to sleep early. Learn how to cook.
The list of New Year’s resolutions goes on. In fact, the examples above were taken from my very own eighth grade list. Revisiting the list now, I still have skinny twig arms, my sleep schedule is still messed up, and I still do not know how to make an egg. Did I try all of these hobbies and must-do’s on my resolution list for a few weeks? Yes. But did I give up before the end of January? …also yes. By the time March rolls around, the realization hits. We open the junk drawer and see the sad crumpled-up paper of our ambitious goals in its neglected corner– self-improvement is nonexistent. That’s the problem. New Year’s resolutions are setting us up for failure. And, it is not only me. Millions of people around the world struggle with unrealistic goals. Instead, we need to acknowledge that the problem: is not us, it is the goals. We must learn how to make long-term changes to our lives through adjusting the resolution system.
“New Year, New Me” is a common phrase used to denote drastic changes made as the clock strikes twelve, but the probability that these drastic changes are actually implemented is in the single digits. The Ohio State University reports, “Only 9% of Americans that make resolutions complete them. In fact, research goes on to show that 23% of people quit their resolutions by the end of the first week, and 43% quit by the end of January.” By setting ourselves up for failure, we risk a whole array of harms. A paper from Technical University of Darmstadt states, “Failing a high and specific goal […] can harm a person’s self-esteem and motivation. […] Decreased motivation may also lead to disengagement from challenging tasks or choosing tasks with low difficulty.” In other words, when we set the bar too high and fall short, not only is our mental health negatively affected, our brains also acknowledge that setting goals of self-improvement only leads to disappointment, so at some point, we stop trying.
Luckily, there is a way to solve this problem. We need to change our perspective on what goal-setting is. The journey from goal to success is not a simple trail that can be trekked by simply saying “I will exercise every day for thirty minutes.” The trail is more of an obscure maze of crossroads, muddled with fog and confusion at every fork in the road. Our lives change constantly, and what might be ideal in January will not apply when March rolls around. This is why a “theme” is necessary. James Clear, the author of the book “Atomic Habits”, writes, “I’ve found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress. Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters.” For example, if your room is often a mess and you clean it once, it will only become a mess again. But if you establish a system of “organization,” then you would think twice before tossing dirty clothes on the ground. This system keeps your room clean in the long-run rather than having a momentary goal that only puts a band-aid solution on a deeper issue.
Educational YouTuber, CGP Grey, coined the term “theme” to describe this change in system. In his video, “Your Theme,” he advocates for New Year’s themes instead of resolutions. Themes are broad and can be referenced to guide your every step. Some examples include “Year of Learning”, “Year of Health”, or “Year of Self-Discipline.” He states, “Stuck in a queue, what to do? Well, if it’s the ‘Year of Reading,’ why not open the book…you were at a branch [of decisions] and went one way instead of the other. Having a theme is like creating a friendly bot to follow you on the path, to help notice branches and consider choices with you, reminding you to be a little different in little moments sometimes.” The upsides of setting an overarching theme instead of specific goals is that it is intentionally broad, and there is no exact measurement of success versus failure. Take the example from the beginning. I wanted to get fit, so I set a goal of exercising every day. Well… finals hit. There is no more time for exercising, and bam, the goal is gone. Instead, if I set up a theme of “Year of Health,” I could look at this crossroads as an opportunity to adjust and keep growing. That week, instead of exercising, I could focus on diet and make sure to eat healthy or go to sleep earlier. Setting a theme means that goals can be adjusted when we need to reevaluate our priorities. Failure does not exist with a good system, but failure does exist when we set high, lofty goals. In the end, minimal improvement is considered a success under a theme, where it would be considered a fail under goals. There are so many definitions of success, and themes allow us to explore without worrying about failing to reach rigid, unrealistic goals.
Millions have fallen flat on their faces on the first of each year, and we enshrine it as a yearly tradition. It is time to recognize that goals have failed us for too long. To reach our goals, we must first change the system we use to achieve them. When New Year’s rolls around, consider setting yourself a theme to achieve a true “New Year, New Me.”
